To live for yourself and be truly happy, here's what you must do
Flat out, the thing that stops most people from living for themselves and finding true happiness is the fear of what other people think.
Other fears exist too — fears of being unsafe, which include running out of money, or the fear of failure, but the fear of other people judging you for being yourself is hands down the biggest thing stopping people from doing what makes them happy.
You could even argue that fears of failure or running out of money are secondary fears, with the deeper fear being what other people will think of you for failing or going broke.
The solution to overcoming the fear of what others think so you can live for yourself is two-fold:
First, you must have a daily practice to connect to the real you underneath the doubt, fear and confusion.
The part of you identifying with these fears isn't the real you. Somewhere within, is a place of boldness, courage and indefatigable will.
Second, you must connect to a vision for your life. We're always saying yes to something. Most people say yes to doubt, fear and confusion.
But when you create space to connect to yourself and receive the vision the universe intends for your life, at some point you will be so pulled forward by your vision that the fear of what other people think will no longer have such a strong hold on you.
The more you connect to yourself and live in a way where you're fueled by the greater source of all that is, and fill your life with the things that bring you joy and resonate with your highest, most aligned good, the less you will tolerate anything that isn't that.
A lot of articles on how to be yourself give a series of action steps to know yourself, and these things are very important.
I've already written about these topics.
Asking yourself key questions to know your values and desires, and creating a positive, confident mindset are important steps along the journey.
That's why all of these steps are covered in every single Soul Scroll Journal.
But there’s something even more basic, more foundational, more essential than asking these questions if you want to live for yourself.
The truth is that asking yourself questions places you at the mental level.
Your mind isn't the source of your true self. Your soul is. Thinking too much creates confusion. Being is what creates clarity.
The mind is a tool, but it must always bow to the heart's wisdom and guidance, and the soul's strength. These things are always guiding you to just be yourself.
The moment you try to figure out how to be you, you’ve already blocked the most natural expression of your true self. You've already created confusion and made things more difficult.
When you are being yourself totally, you lose all sense of self-consciousness. You’re no longer painfully self-aware, as you may be with a new group of people or in an important meeting.
Instead, it’s that sense of comfortable familiarity, that sense of freedom when you’re not concerned with being good / cool / funny / smart / pretty / sexy / classy / adventurous ENOUGH.
You're totally in the moment. Wild and free.
It’s when you’re you, unapologetically, in all your quirks and chaos, and you know without a doubt, you're enough.
But how do you shift from a place of constantly worrying and doubting to that place of effortlessly being yourself all the time?
How to live for yourself in two steps:
The first, most important thing is to meditate.
When you meditate, you spend time connecting to the eternal part of you, the part underneath the conditioning that says you must get this person’s love and approval to be good enough, but in order to get their approval, you must act a certain way or be a certain type of person.
Other people judging you says something about who THEY are, not who YOU are.
The only thing that matters is what you think of yourself. Meditation gives you the clarity and connection to stay rooted in this truth.
When you're connected to yourself, you may hear others' judgments, criticism, or limiting beliefs, but they don't sway you. You know who you are, and that's enough.
The more time you spend connecting to the real you, the easier it is to live for yourself.
You receive guidance on how to move forward, how to solve your problems and realize your dreams.
Conversely, the more time you spend focused on your doubts, fears and insecurities, the more you feel trapped by limitations and fears — including the fear of what others think.
As you meditate, each sweet breath clears away layers of stress, pain, doubt and confusion, allowing your soul to shine through and clearly guide you forward.
This is how to allow your life to expand, when everything feels guided by an unseen holy hand.
Meditation turns confusion into clarity, sadness into peace, anxiety into certainty.
That’s why I created the Mindfulness and meditation guided journal, to show you how to go within and experience this deep peace for yourself.
I firmly believe everyone needs a meditation practice, but a lot of people say they don't know how to meditate or have trouble starting and keeping the habit. If that's you, you'll love this journal.
Many regular meditators have also gone through this material. They say it's deepened their practice and guided them into greater peace.
This incredible journal features 30 quick lessons guiding you step-by-step to create a meditation practice — even if you've tried and failed before.
Each daily lesson ends with a meditation focus for the day and mindfulness journal prompt to help you apply the lesson to your daily life.
For example, on Day 4, Love your crazy mind, you’ll learn how to sort through all your thoughts to find peace. After your session, you’re invited to journal about your relationship to your thoughts and explore how you can shift that to create more peace in your life.
In other lessons, you'll learn breathing techniques to regulate your nervous system and reduce anxiety, mantras and visualizations for spiritual power, and — my favorite — an entire week focused on meditating for emotional healing.
The second, equally important, step to live for yourself is to heal past pains keeping you focused on what others think.
The thing is, other people's opinions and judgments don't have to affect you. Anything you attach to or focus on is because at some level you believe it about yourself.
From a manifestation perspective, when you have doubts and insecurities about yourself, these tend to reflect in how others treat you. When you feel confident about something, other people feel your energy and question you less.
Being yourself requires you to heal those things keeping you stuck in old conditioning.
You can't just stop believing something. It doesn't work that way.
We all have emotional attachments that cause us to identify with judgments or fears. These emotional attachments come from unhealed wounds.
Sometimes unhealed wounds bind us to people in unhealthy ways because we change who we are to gain their love and approval. This causes a deep sense of pain, including depression, anxiety or addictions that manifest as a way to cope with the pain.
Other times unhealed wounds cause us to take on other's limiting beliefs because we feel this way about ourselves. Maybe you feel like you're stupid, or not talented, or not smart enough, or things never work out for you, or any other cruel thing we tell ourselves.
Unhealed past pain emotionally attaches us to these limiting, negative beliefs about ourselves, creating self-fulfilling prophecies. As long as we stay emotionally attached to these beliefs, they will limit us. We will emotionally believe them as true, even if we intellectually disbelieve them.
Fully being yourself requires you to heal these deeper pains to release the emotional attachment so you can change your beliefs. Once you do, your confidence and self-belief will soar. This is the deeper work that allows you to manifest your desires.
You'll learn exactly how to heal your deepest pains so you can live for yourself in the Mindfulness & meditation guided journal. No other meditation book teaches you how to meditate to heal.
Over the past few months, I’ve realized that I teach meditation totally different than most people.
“Experts” have told me that meditation can be used to bypass emotion, or that healing trauma is not a “DIY” project.
"Facilitators" have told me that I shouldn’t teach people how to do the meditation-based shadow work methods you'll learn inside the Mindfulness & meditation guided journal because it’s not safe or advisable to do this work without a trained guide.
To be frank, these people have no idea what they’re talking about.
Meditation is one of THE most powerful ways to release repressed emotions so you can live for yourself, at least the way I teach it. (Unless a voice within says you need help. That's fine. It's smart to get help if you need it. But most people reading this will be totally fine doing this work on their own.)
Learning the tools to heal yourself is the most empowering thing you will ever do.
In the Mindfulness & meditation guided journal, you will learn my powerful shadow work methods that use the connection between emotion and memory (neuroscience shows that emotion turns events into memories) to free yourself from your deepest pains.
The methods you'll learn in the journal show you exactly how to identify the source of your biggest problems and heal it. These potent methods have worked for 100s of my clients, course members, and now SSJ customers.
I'm committed to teaching all those who are willing to do the work exactly how to free themselves from negative thinking to create a future defined by their dreams, not their problems.
The Mindfulness & meditation guided journal isn't just about learning how to meditate. It's a total guide to reclaiming your freedom to live for yourself.
All the love,
Founder, Soul Scroll Journals